I read this on the Focus on the Family website (family.org) and the words really moved me. I have definitely been guilty of saying hurtful things during conflict with my parents, sister and husband. I also have a hard time "letting go" of past fights. Keep on reading if you have too . . .
From family.org:
Let me share one more suggestion with you and others who have been angry at their parents. Given the brevity of life and the temporary nature of all human relationships, can you find it within your hearts to forgive them? Maybe my own experience will be relevant to you. My mother closed her eyes for the last time on June 26, 1988, and went to be with the Lord. She had been so vibrant — so important to each member of our family. I couldn't imagine life without her just a few years earlier. But time passed so quickly, and before we knew it, she had grown old and sick and incompetent. This human experience is like that. In just a brief moment, it seems, our fleeting days are gone, and as King David said, "The place thereof shall know it no more" (Psalm 103:16, KJV).
As I sat at the memorial service for my good mother, I was flooded with memories and a profound sense of loss. But there was not the slightest hint of regret, remorse, or guilt. There were no hurtful words I wished I could have taken back. There were no brawls — no prolonged conflicts — that remained unresolved between my parents and me. Why not? Was I a perfect son born to flawless parents? Of course not. But in 1962, when Shirley and I had been married two years and I was 26 years old, I remember saying to Shirley, "Our parents will not always be with us. I see now the incredible brevity of life that will someday take them from us. We must keep that in mind as we live out our daily lives. I want to respond to both sets of parents in such a way that we will have no regrets after they are gone. This is what I believe the Lord wants of us."
Again, to those of you who are in need of this advice, I urge you not to throw away these good, healthy times. Your parents will not always be there for you. Please think about what I have written and be careful not to create bitter memories that will hang above you when the record is in the books. No conflict is worth letting that happen.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Shopaholic
My cute new Tory Burch "Miller" Thongs
What Macys.com customers rated the highest . . . hmmm
What Macys.com customers rated the highest . . . hmmm
So I took advantage of working in downtown Chicago and spent my lunch hour shopping for some new spring clothes! I know it's only mid-February but seeing the Spring styles in the stores really gets me excited! I got some adorable Tory Burch "Miller" flat sandles in gold- a style I've been wanting since last summer when the gold color was sold out! So exciting.
When I returned to the office I didn't quite have the shopping bug out of my system so I decided to peruse Macys.com to see what new shoes they have available. I clicked on their new feature to see "Top Rated Shoes" and the selection above was what came up. REALLY??? Out of all the Macys customers in the world this is what they are rating the highest?
I think I'll stick to making my own selections from now on! : )
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Working On My Fitness
Working on my fitness (as Fergie says) is what I'm going to be doing over the next few months! Since I've already begun my countdown to summer I figured I better start getting bikini ready - which (full disclosure) is something I tried to start many times. I've made some pretty good changes since I've been married - I'm now cooking at home most nights of the week, I've cut out most processed and pre-packaged foods and my husband and I go on a walk several nights a week.
However I realized a few mornings ago as I was running the 3 blocks to my train, that I am not very cardiovascularly fit! My heart wasn't hurting or anything like that, but I was definitely pretty out of breath after only a five minute run! I've also noticed that I don't like the too full feeling I have at least once a week when I've eaten more than I needed. It just makes me feel yucky, sluggish and bloated.
We only have one body. I saw a man last summer who had lost his legs, swimming in Lake Michigan. He hoisted himself out of his wheelchair and pushed himself into the water and began doing laps. That image has always stuck with me. If he can do, why can't I?
So I've decided to commit to some small changes with an short term goal of losing 20 lbs. Here is how I'm going to do it:
However I realized a few mornings ago as I was running the 3 blocks to my train, that I am not very cardiovascularly fit! My heart wasn't hurting or anything like that, but I was definitely pretty out of breath after only a five minute run! I've also noticed that I don't like the too full feeling I have at least once a week when I've eaten more than I needed. It just makes me feel yucky, sluggish and bloated.
We only have one body. I saw a man last summer who had lost his legs, swimming in Lake Michigan. He hoisted himself out of his wheelchair and pushed himself into the water and began doing laps. That image has always stuck with me. If he can do, why can't I?
So I've decided to commit to some small changes with an short term goal of losing 20 lbs. Here is how I'm going to do it:
- Move my body every day for 20 minutes. No, it's not a lot of time but there is absolutely no reason that I can't walk or dance for 20 minutes a day. And if I do it every day, it will add up.
- Commit to during a cardiovascularly challenging exercise at least 2 times per week. For me, this is probably going to mean running which I do not particularly enjoy - nor am I good at it. But I love a challenge, so I'm going to start running 2 times per week.
- Strech and move more during my work day. Like many people, I sit at a desk all.day.long. Sometimes I find that I've sat in front of my computer for hours on end barely moving a muscle. Not good. So I'm going to get up at least once per hour, walk around my floor and stretch out my arms, legs, neck and back.
- Commit to eating "lighter". I am a girl who loves cheese, buttered toast and dessert. I'm still going to eat all of those things, I'm just going to eat less of them and more fresh vegetables and fruits.
Yea! I feel better already.
Oh happy day!
I just realized that in a few short months my husband and I will have been married for 1 year! The other day I read about how Seal and Heidi Klum renew their vows every year and have a mini wedding. So fun! I absolutely loved planning our wedding and think it would be so great to have a vow renewal each year. We'd get to say our vows again and even better - realize how we've put them into action over the past year. Plus I could dress up in white and get my hair and makeup done! I'll have to run this one by my hubby!
Ski trip 2010
This past weekend I went to Vail with a good friend from college! It was good to get away for some girl time AND get my ski legs back! You can truly see the beauty of God's creation in Colorado! Wow! Those mountains are awe inspiring!!
The altitude definitely got to us! We were huffing and puffing walking up even little hills. It sure would be hard to get used to living there!
I've included a few pictures from our girl's get-a-way.
Happy Things!
Walking home on Lake Michigan from a Cubs game . . . A view of Castaways from the beach . . . In the heart of the Sheffield Garden Walk Street Festival . . .
Living in the Midwest has made me really appreciate the seasons. I've never looked forward to summer as much as I do during January-March in Chicago! Sometimes when I'm working out I like to daydream about summer. Here are a few things I love about summer in Chicago!
- Street Festivals - a big ol' party in the street with tons of young people, good music and funnel cakes. YUM!
- Sitting at a sidewalk cafe enjoying dinner and drinks with my husband and watching all of the people go by.
- Walking by the Lake and feeling the sun hug my shoulders. Yes it REALLY does feel like that after a long, cold winter!
- Beach volleyball and drinks at Castaways, our very own beach bar! Yes we do have a beach in Chicago and it is SO FUN!!
- Evening walks through the Gold Coast neighborhood of Chicago, where I lived prior to getting married. All of the houses are old brownstones with iron gates, the streets are lined with big shady trees and there are fireflies! I haven't seen them since I was a kid!
I love having something to look forward to.
Ahhhhh summer! I can't wait for you to come!
Marriage Advice
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives . . . . Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious givt of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
- 1 Peter 3: 1-2, 7
A heart dominated by pride says "I would rather allow my marriage to die than admit that I am wrong". A heart driven by Biblical love and commitment says "I will do whatever it takes to strenghten and build up my marriage because I know it's that important".
The fact is, you cannot change your spouse, but you can change yourself. When conflict arises, changes you make to improve yourself and your marriage can effectively produce healthy responses in the other spouse.
Keep control of your anger and don't show disrespect. Keeping these points in mind can greatly enhance communication with your husband and keep your relationship loving and positive.
- 1 Peter 3: 1-2, 7
A heart dominated by pride says "I would rather allow my marriage to die than admit that I am wrong". A heart driven by Biblical love and commitment says "I will do whatever it takes to strenghten and build up my marriage because I know it's that important".
The fact is, you cannot change your spouse, but you can change yourself. When conflict arises, changes you make to improve yourself and your marriage can effectively produce healthy responses in the other spouse.
Keep control of your anger and don't show disrespect. Keeping these points in mind can greatly enhance communication with your husband and keep your relationship loving and positive.
On Marriage - and being a newlywed!
When you get married, you hear all the cliches - from "the first year is the hardest" to how your first year of marriage will be a "honeymoon period." I can honestly say that for us, both have proven to be true.
There have been days of true joy - happy moments with someone I've grown to know so intimately and love deeply, the security of having found someone to share life with and the happy comfort of having a partner, lover and friend for life!
We also experienced some very hard times -and problems have come about that I never expected. When I think back to arguments we've had - maybe one or two that have been about something important (ie: family, finances etc). The source of most of our challenges has been how to merge into ONE, two very different individuals, expectations, day to day lives, conversation styles etc.
In part, I think that my husband and I have had the extra challenge of both being older and more settled in our ways when we got married. I turned 30 a few days before our wedding and he was 36. We've both lived on our own, and without roommates, for the past several years, and as such have developed our own way of doing things.
We also come from two very different families. His parents were married very young via an arranged marriage and just celebrated their 43rd anniversary. They come from a very traditional Indian background and have a lived most of their (she was 17 when they were married!) lives together. In their family, typically one person speaks at a time, and a lot of reverence is given to the men in the family. The women are definitely treated well, but my husband's mother is extremely respectful and defferent to her husband. There are rarely arguments or even discussions. Their extended family is not close and as such they have celebrated most occasions as a small family of four (my hubby has a sister). Obviously how my husband was raised has influenced his expectations for his wife and marriage.
My parents were married for 15 years and divorced when I was 12. My Mom comes from a very outgoing family and during family get-togethers everyone joyfully talks at once! My Dad comes from a more reserved family full of intellectuals who are very "on their game" regarding the hot issues of the day. My Mom, Dad, sister and I all enjoy spirited discussions on a variety of topics. Growing up I lived primarily with my Mom and sister and am very used to living in an all girl household - full of lots of talking! I am also used to getting into an minor argument with a family member and then having it be "over" in the next minute. We get over things pretty quickly and are used to the ups and downs of girly emotions!
As you can see, we come from pretty different backgrounds and have the early marriage communication challenges to prove it! : ) And I bet that many of you who come from backgrounds more similar to your spouse can relate too!
The good news is, you CAN blend the lives of two very different people into a happy life together. It just takes patience, kindness, faithfulness and self control. Ahhh the "Fruits of the Spirit"!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.
-Galatians 5:22
Guess God was on to something! : )
I hope to share more with you about how we continue to strengthen our marriage and grow together.
There have been days of true joy - happy moments with someone I've grown to know so intimately and love deeply, the security of having found someone to share life with and the happy comfort of having a partner, lover and friend for life!
We also experienced some very hard times -and problems have come about that I never expected. When I think back to arguments we've had - maybe one or two that have been about something important (ie: family, finances etc). The source of most of our challenges has been how to merge into ONE, two very different individuals, expectations, day to day lives, conversation styles etc.
In part, I think that my husband and I have had the extra challenge of both being older and more settled in our ways when we got married. I turned 30 a few days before our wedding and he was 36. We've both lived on our own, and without roommates, for the past several years, and as such have developed our own way of doing things.
We also come from two very different families. His parents were married very young via an arranged marriage and just celebrated their 43rd anniversary. They come from a very traditional Indian background and have a lived most of their (she was 17 when they were married!) lives together. In their family, typically one person speaks at a time, and a lot of reverence is given to the men in the family. The women are definitely treated well, but my husband's mother is extremely respectful and defferent to her husband. There are rarely arguments or even discussions. Their extended family is not close and as such they have celebrated most occasions as a small family of four (my hubby has a sister). Obviously how my husband was raised has influenced his expectations for his wife and marriage.
My parents were married for 15 years and divorced when I was 12. My Mom comes from a very outgoing family and during family get-togethers everyone joyfully talks at once! My Dad comes from a more reserved family full of intellectuals who are very "on their game" regarding the hot issues of the day. My Mom, Dad, sister and I all enjoy spirited discussions on a variety of topics. Growing up I lived primarily with my Mom and sister and am very used to living in an all girl household - full of lots of talking! I am also used to getting into an minor argument with a family member and then having it be "over" in the next minute. We get over things pretty quickly and are used to the ups and downs of girly emotions!
As you can see, we come from pretty different backgrounds and have the early marriage communication challenges to prove it! : ) And I bet that many of you who come from backgrounds more similar to your spouse can relate too!
The good news is, you CAN blend the lives of two very different people into a happy life together. It just takes patience, kindness, faithfulness and self control. Ahhh the "Fruits of the Spirit"!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.
-Galatians 5:22
Guess God was on to something! : )
I hope to share more with you about how we continue to strengthen our marriage and grow together.
About Me
I've been a newlywed for almost 10 months now (more about the joys and challenges of marriage in a later post) and live in Chicago. I moved to the Midwest from California 3 years ago and prior to that I went to most of High School and all of College in Washington state!
I'm a blogger!
I've been following several blogs for a few months now and am amazed by how many people blog! From the minor details of day to day life to more reflective entries, I've been inspired! Here is my 2 cents! : )
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